What Happens When Condescension Is The Secret Ingredient.

I recently decided to carry a friend to a beach bar, lets call it ‘La Bacane’, for some birthday drinks and possibly a bite to eat. When we got there, the place was scantily occupied by other patrons, which we assumed was due to the questionable weather we were having. Nonetheless, at that moment the sun was peaking through the clouds so we decided to make the best of it.

Lacking a host to seat us, we sat ourselves at a table. Luckily we were quickly advised that the tables were reserved and if the waiter saw fit we may need to relocate. Based on the current occupancy of probably twenty percent, I assume he didn’t mean the traditional sense of reserved, where the table was being saved for customers in transit, but the hipster sense of ‘reserved’ where if someone better came along you are going to get the boot. Regardless, we decided to take our chances and have a seat. Seeing as it was a lazy Tuesday afternoon, we took our time making our drink order, still discussing whether or not to order food. My partner in drinks wasn’t sold on any of the offerings, therefore opted for more time.

Once my Moscow Mule came I realized they failed the preliminary test of serving it in a copper mug, but hoped its flavor would make up for what it lacked in presentation. It tasted good but there was a familiar flavor which I couldn’t immediately identify. After several more sips, rocking back and forth in my chair and some debate with my drinks companion, the waiter, came over to inform me that rocking in the chairs was not allowed. This helped me recognize the secret ingredient in my cocktail: Condescension.

Condescension isn’t an ingredient that many good establishments use, however if you look hard and turn into enough back allies you can find it in abundance. In my experience, condescension is best used sparingly and subtly, since I find a little can go a long way, however, it appeared that at ‘La Bacane’ it is used much like a secret ingredient sprinkling a little on everything they served. However, I’m not sure they took into consideration that many patrons have a low-condescension-tolerance and can result in many adverse reactions. I have seen many scenarios where people with severe condescension-intolerance have turned the tables, informing the liberal-condescension-users as to their real importance to the world.

Luckily, I have quite a high tolerance for condescension. I can endure quite a bit without flinching. In fact, I quite enjoy playing a game at places that use a cornucopia of condescension. I visit every once in a while to see if anything has changed and if not, I track how long they stay open.

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